Louise was awarded an A* and 29/30 for what her teacher described as a “highly entertaining piece” which I have transcribed here. Probably written around 2005-06 it was very prescient! You can find the original here.
‘In the future we will all be slaves to things like personal stereos, computers and mobile phones’
Welcome to the new age, one of ultimate non-communication. People fool themselves into thinking that they are communicating by having their mobiles switched on all day and checking their emails constantly. What they are actually engaging in is the ultimate form of non-communication (which will from now on be referred to as UNC).
The phenomenon of UNC has only arisen in the last ten or so years. It is highly dangerous as people often do not recognise UNC for what it actually is. UNC occurs when one being transmits unnecessary waffle (which from now on be referred to as B.S.) via a UNC unit such as a mobile telephone or computer.
This B.S. often takes the form of a subject which one party could not care less about as it does not concern them in any way. Here is an example of B.S.:
‘Hi Miranda, just to let you know, Jack broke up with me. I’m so depressed.’
‘Oh. I am sorry…’
B.S. is however only B.S. if the information is conveyed through a UNC unit, otherwise it is just known as information. The demon that causes this information to become B.S. is the issue of non-communicative communication (otherwise known as UNC), and the reason is simple. UNC contains no personal levels whatsoever and therefore the B.S. has to be interpreted by the person on the receiving end of B.S. Often this B.S. is misinterpreted as negative B.S. or unnecessary B.S. which makes a lot of people sick of all this B.S.
It would all be very harmless B.S. apart from one thing, UNC is highly addictive. A UNC addict is often compulsive (a regular checker of UNC units), impulsive (frequently changes plans over UNC), paranoid (says things like “why haven’t they called yet!?”) and cannot go any long period of time without UNC. In other words their life is ruled by B.S.
However, when the young UNC addicts do have a spare moment away from all their usual BS, they can usually be found indulging in the following: Stereos, TV, Underage drinking, Playstations, Internet and occasionally Drugs (abbreviation = STUPID). STUPIDity also carries the same high-risk addictiveness.
In conclusion, our lives are already controlled by B.S. and STUPIDity.